


How He was Supposed To

by Jellybaby21963



Category: Detroit: Become Human (Video Game)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Human, Awkard Simon, Coming Out, F/M, Family Issues, Homophobia, Internalized Homophobia, Living my Hallmark original movie fantasy, M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-03-13
Updated: 2019-03-20
Packaged: 2019-11-17 15:04:44
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 7,986
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18100895
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Jellybaby21963/pseuds/Jellybaby21963
Summary: It had been perfect. Absolutely perfect.They’d grown up together, started dating in high school, married after graduation and had two beautiful kids. White picket fence, green grass a nice safe affordable car. For 19 years they’d been the sort of family you’d see in advertisements for suburban homes.The perfect nuclear family and it had all come crashing down with two little words.Because for all its perfection, Simon didn’t love her. Not how he was supposed to.





	1. Two Words

**Author's Note:**

  * For [DrasticGloomyDemon](https://archiveofourown.org/users/DrasticGloomyDemon/gifts).



> Self-indulgent cabincore Sarkus fic written at a friends insistence   
> I want my Hallmark-esque cliched fantasy so it didnt take much convincing. 
> 
> The content here is heavily based on my own experience of coming out.

“Just for a few days. Do that finding yourself thing. I mean, it works for those college kids in the blogs why not for you?” 

“Those kids don’t have bills and aren’t heading into their forties,” Simon replied as he folded another button up shirt and put it along the others in his suitcase. 

Elise sighed and took his toothbrush from their shared holder. Simon frowned. He supposed that was one of many things they wouldn’t be sharing anymore. She secured it in a ziplock baggie and set it on top of his folded clothes. 

“Well, we’ve already got you packed up there’s no going back now.” To punctuate the fact she zipped the case close and pat its surface. 

“You are going to spend some time away. Just a little bit to figure out what you want to do, and then...then we go from there.” 

It wasn’t just for him, Simon knew that. After everything she needed some time to figure things out just as much as he did. The situation was more complicated. They weren’t the only two people in their lives. 

Simon heaved his two suitcases off the bed and carried them to the door. The closer to actually leaving he got the more twisted his stomach became. 

“Jacob’s not coming back from Ryan’s is he?” He’d been gone for three days already and it didn’t seem like he wanted to see his father off at all. Elise gnawed on her bottom lip, her thin brows pulling down into a furrow. 

“I think he still needs some time. He’ll come around. Eventually.” She didn’t sound sure about that. Jacob was 17, nearing 18. He had an idea in his head about the sort of man his father was, and that had all changed. He needed his time, everyone did, Simon knew that. Knowing it didn’t make it any easier. 

Riley had taken it better than Jacob. Even then she didn’t understand why her dad was going away; didn’t completely get why things had to change now. Why everything had to change. 

~ 

Elise had been talking about trying for another baby. There had been some complications with both her pregnancies and that had deterred them for some years. With Jacob coming closer to becoming an adult and leaving for college she’d started talking about the possibility more and more. Riley was only 13 but the impending possibility of an empty nest didn’t sit well with her.  

“Dr. Stern never said it wasn’t going to happen ever again,” Elise said through a mouthful of their shared salad. They were both on their lunch break, Elise happily munching on the salad and Simon picking at it. Simon stared down at the green mix. His stomach knotted uncomfortably, his heart picking up its beat in his chest like it did everytime she brought up this topic. How many more years of this could he survive? He loved his kids, loved being a father and a husband but if they had another kid it would be another person he was lying to. Elise, Jacob, Riley, countless friends and family members, himself. He couldn’t do it anymore not when- “You okay, Simon? Not liking the salad?” -she was so happy. 

Simon lifted his eyes up and shook his head. “The salad is fine.” He’d barely taken a single bite. Elise had started the baby talk as soon as they had sat down for lunch.   
She grunted, not believing him. 

“I think the dressing is a bit too sweet. What I get for changing up the recipe.” She continued to speak, her words not reaching Simon’s ears. Not until he hears that word so clearly again. 

“...baby. I mean, I know changing what I eat isn’t magically going to get me pregnant but it can’t hurt right?” Simon dropped his fork into the bowl, once again he looked anywhere but Elise’s eyes. Elise is silenced for a moment.

“Unless you don’t want to have another kid? You haven’t really given your thoughts on that.” 

He rubbed his sweating palms on his tan slacks and took a deep breath. 

“I think...I need to tell you something.”

“You’re cheating on me,” Elise responded. Simon’s eyes widened and shot back over to look at her. She was smiling, joking. She always did that. Cracked a joke to ease the situation. The crow’s feet at the corners of her eyes would crinkle up. Simon always thought she was so beautiful when she did that. He was so focused on them he didn’t immediately notice that he had not answered. By that point the laugh lines were gone and Elise was bracing herself for the worst. 

“No. No. No, Elise. I’m not cheating on you.” He placed his hand over her’s on the table, his voice as firm as he can make it with his stomach rolling. 

“Okay. What's up?” 

There was no going back now. He had already brought it up and he couldn’t have Elise worrying over what he could be talking about. Still, the words stuck in his throat. Frustration bubbled up. He wished the words would do the same. They were so close to the surface, just on the roof of his mouth now. He could feel them forming on his tongue but he couldn’t get them out. 

“Simon-” 

“I’m gay.” 

He’d blurted them out with zero tact or grace. It felt like they’d been ripped from between his teeth. The relief he’d been hoping to have didn’t come. Now, he had to look his wife in her eyes. 

She had frozen in place. It took a few long seconds to sink in, Simon could clearly see the exact moment it hit. Rapidly the whites of her eyes grew red tinged and filled with tears. She didn’t say anything. She didn’t become irate or try to contradict him. Maybe that would have been easier than the devastation his words had brought. He knew what she was seeing, he had seen it himself when he’d finally admitted it. What would happen to their relationship? What about the kids? What about all they had done for each other and were working towards? 

The sharp flowery trill of Elise’s phone alarm broke them out of their trance. That was their break over with. She sucked in a breath and wiped at her cheeks, snatching up her phone. The salad was completely forgotten about. They still had another five hours left of their shifts. 

“This could’ve waited, Simon.” 

“I know. I’m sorry.” She didn’t reply to his apology. Instead she got up quickly before she had the chance to have a full melt down in the break room. 

“I’m sorry,” Simon whispered to her retreating back. 

~ 

That had been exactly a month ago. Elise had been devastated but she didn’t take any drastic actions. Didn’t kick him out or steal the kids away in the middle of the night. They’d gone home together after work, made dinner and turned on a movie for the kids while they went to bedroom to have the dreaded conversation. There had been a lot of crying on both their parts and not much of an actual discussion. The real talking had happened later over the course of several days, with Elise asking many questions. 

“Did you love me?” 

“Of course I did. Just not how I was supposed to.” 

“How long have you known?” 

“I think I've always known. Always questioned it and fought it. Thought I could just...not be that. I was wrong. Admitted it to myself two years ago.” 

“Why did it take so long for you to tell me?” 

“You’ve been perfect. I didn’t want to hurt you.” 

Once they’d gotten all of their talking out they’d sat the kids down and told them. Or, Elise told them. Simon couldn’t formulate the words. Jacob had gotten angry, loud, and insisted that this was something his father could just work through. Riley had come around to it almost immediately, but didn’t want anything to change. 

“Do you have to go?” 

Simon tried not to sigh at her words and pushed his bags into the back of his car.  

“Just for a little bit, sweetie. Your mom and I just need a little time away from each other.”

Riley folded her arms over her chest, cocking her hip just looking like a mirror image of her mother. 

“Are you running away?” 

“No.” It felt like he was. 

“Riley,” her mother’s voice cut in, stern. 

“It’s just for a little bit. Now come on, give Dad a hug, he’s gotta make good time.” 

In typical teenage fashion, Riley rolled her eyes but dropped it. She shuffled into Simon arms, hugging him tight around the middle and burying her round face into his abdomen. Simon held her as close as he could, like it’s the last time he’s seeing her. It’s not. Elise would never keep his kids from him, would never take them where he wasn't. Still, that voice nagged in the back of his mind, that she was going to change her mind, decide she didn’t want herself or her kids around the man that had lied to them for so long. With great difficulty he unraveled Riley from his grip. 

“I’m not leaving you guys. I promise.” 

When Riley returned to their home it was time for Elise to say her good-byes. There had been this awkward tip-toeing around each other in the month since his coming out. Elise wasn’t sure what she could or couldn’t do now. She was constantly holding herself back. It pained him to know that they may never get that intimacy back. After everything they had done together it was hard to imagine a world where he couldn’t hold her, give her a kiss on the cheek when he was reminded of how grateful he was to have her in his life. It would’ve been cruel for him to seek out that comfort now when it felt like a double-edged sword to her. 

He could’ve sobbed when she drew closer and gave him a peck on his cheek. She scrunched her nose up, tickled by the beard he had steadily grown over the last few months. 

“Very rugged. Think you’ll attract some cute young thing with that?” 

Exasperated, Simon sighed and looked to the heavens. 

“Okay, okay. No teasing.” She placed her hand over his heart, humming. 

“But really...If you find somebody, please, don’t hold yourself back. Not for me or anybody else.” 

Simon chewed on his lip. Where Elise expected him to find anybody was beyond him. He was going to their cabin. It was in secluded in the woods, hours outside of the city. The closest piece of civilization was a small town an hours drive away. All it had was a few scattered homes, local shops and a church. He would be completely isolated out there for who knows how long. He hadn’t been more than a day away from his family in over two decades. It was daunting to say the least. 

“You find whatever you need to out there. Then you come home and we start over...I want to know who you really are, Simon. When you’re ready.” His throat tightened and a stinging settled in his eyes.  

“Thank you,” he murmured. One last hug between them and Simon was sinking into the driver’s seat. 

Driving away was the hardest thing he had ever done. When his wife and his home disappeared from his rearview mirror he couldn’t hold back the tears. 

The relief he should’ve been feeling wasn’t as tangible as he would like.


	2. The Artist

The cabin was surrounded by trees and dense underbrush. Even after spending the summer months there for years Simon still had to slow down to crawl so as to not accidentally pass the bumpy roadway. The car could only go so far into the trees, about halfway there he would have to get out and make the rest of the way on foot. He had about two weeks of vacation time stockpiled. Whether he was going to spend two weeks out here on his own he didn’t know but he had packed quite a bit in preparation. A suitcase and duffel bag of clothes and hygiene items and a small crate of food. It wasn’t much food, he would eventually have to make the trip to the town to get more but it would keep him for a few days. The duffel bag he slung over his shoulder, the suitcase handle in his hand and the crate of food under his arm balanced carefully against his hip. It was the beginning of spring. What hadn’t survived the winter was growing back with a vengeance. It was a feat to make it through even with the beaten down path leading to the cabin. Simon took note of a stone on the ground. Not a weird thing to see but the bright yellow geometric pattern painted onto its surface was. Maybe something Jacob had done the summer before? 

The path narrowed the further in he got, before splitting off into a wide circle. Inside this circle was their cabin. The cabin itself wasn’t much to look at. It was an old log cabin, inherited from his father years ago. It was largely kept barren for most of the year, nothing but the bare essentials and the few items that the kids would make or find on their vacations. Smooth rocks of various colors lined the window sills. A wooden wind chime made of shells and yarn hung from the door’s handle. The wind didn’t survive the passage through the trees so it didn’t so much as sway but Jacob and Riley had enjoyed making it. 

Simon set down the suitcase and lifted his leg to balance the crate on his thigh while he pushed open the door. It was all lugged past the threshold and dropped off for the time being. Pictures of his family decorated the walls along with drawings and crafts made by the kids. Nothing of substantial worth was ever kept in the cabin when they weren’t there. Just an icebox and some furniture older than him. When you first stepped in it always felt so empty. A fine layer of dust would build up over the months and the lights never shined as brightly as they should. But then the kids would step inside and it would breathe into life. They’d excitedly scurry around on the wooden floors and bounce on the furniture no matter how many times their parents told them to stop. Recently, Jacob had taken to acting like he was so over the family vacation thing but he could never hide his eagerness when Elise brought out the crafts. 

But now, without their laughter, without Elise’s smile brightening up the place it felt utterly and completely empty. A stone settled in Simon’s gut. Maybe this was a bad idea. He didn’t know what he was supposed to be looking for out here. He was being selfish. He could still go back to Elise and tell her he’d made a mistake. He’d been married to her for nearly 20 years already, what was a few more before he eventually passed away? 

Except he couldn’t do that to her. Couldn’t do it to himself. 

37 years of life and he’d never felt as lost as he did now. Surrounded by trees, hours away from any major cities and he’d never felt so exposed. It was an intimidating thought, having to relearn how to live all over again. This existence he was allowing himself was new and absolutely terrifying. 

Cleaning up the cabin took a bit more work with one man doing it but eventually it was free of dust (for the most part). Fresh bulbs had been brought out of the storage closet and his clothes put away neatly in the dresser. Now, well, Simon really wasn’t sure what he was supposed to do now. There wasn’t a handbook that he knew of for this kind of thing. Does he turn on some music dance with the fireflies and come out of it a new man with a new outlook on life? Not likely. So instead he did what his father had always told him to do when he was lost. He laced up his boots and went fishing. 

At least he would have if he remembered how. He could’ve sworn he knew how. It had been over a decade since his last fishing trip with his father and the kids could never sit still long enough to catch anything, so he’d dropped it. It hadn’t exactly been a hobby of his just an excuse to enjoy another person’s company in silence. After getting tangled up in the wire and poking himself on the hook countless times he thinks maybe it is time to drop it officially. 

“Whatever happened to muscle memory?” Groaning, Simon tosses the fishing pole with its now broken wire to the side. 

Bugs danced on the surface of the water, making small ripples. It was the same small pond his father and him would fish at. Erosion had eaten away at its shoreline, the protections his father had put in place neglected in his absence. Simon recalled what the pond had looked like under his father’s care. The stony riprap had broken up the waves and allowed the small environment to flourish without pollution. Now a green film was forming on the water. Without realizing his mind was decided, Simon started making plans to reinforce the buffer zone for the pond. It could go with a few plants and the riprap needed repairing. Specialists would have to be called in for the riprap but Simon could clean up the area a bit himself. 

Putting his mind to that task, Simon stooped down to pick up his tackle box and pole. That’s when his eyes finally picked up on the items. They were hung from the branches of a tree, paintings of insects on the water, a duck, and the pond itself. Curiosity and confusion drew Simon closer to the items. There shouldn’t have been anyone else this far out, not to mention this pond was well within his property lines and anyone else there would be trespassing. When he got closer he could see more clearly the subtle detail of the pieces. He didn’t know much about art,  no matter how much Jacob had tried to educate him on the subject, but they were beautiful. At first he’d thought they were on paper but he could now see that it was on some sort of fabric. The paint was still fresh, slowly drying on the cloth. Without thinking Simon reached out for it, wanting to know what they felt like. 

“Hey, don’t touch those!” 

Simon jerked back in such a sharp motion he rocked himself off balance. He wobbled precariously on the bank long enough to see a man come from behind the tree. Simon’s surprised yelp was drowned out by the sound of his body dropping into the water. The water was cold and murky with algae, the mud at the bottom instantly squelched into his boots. His hands caught on stones, digging in uncomfortably. At the very least the water only rose to his chest this close to the shoreline. That still left him absolutely drenched and the nice clothes he hadn’t bothered to change out of thoroughly soiled. He ground his teeth together and tried to stand but his feet insisted on not gaining purchase in the mud. The skittering of rocks and a man’s voice cursing reached his ears, reminding Simon of how he’d ended up in this position in the first place. 

“Sorry. Honestly wasn’t trying to scare you.” The man reached the shoreline, stepping into the water completely unbothered with his rubber Wellignton boots and nature appropriate clothing. 

He held out his hand for Simon to take, which he did. 

“It’s fine, just wasn’t expecting it.” Why would he be expecting there to be a stranger on his property? When Simon was hauled to his feet that was when he finally got a proper look at the stranger. 

The first thing he noticed was his eyes. They were mismatched, one a bright blue the other a striking yellow. Freckles sprinkled his cheeks and nose, it could’ve given him a boyish look if it wasn’t for the scraggly uneven beard he was sporting. Just like that, Simon forgot how to speak.  

It shouldn’t of been an issue. He was in his late 30s and had interacted with more men in his life than he ever had with women, and yet. The man released his hand quickly when Simon was properly on his feet. His slacks were already dirtied so Simon just wiped his stinging palms off on them. 

“You okay? Looked like one hell of a fall.” 

“I found your rock.” That. Was not what he was supposed to say. 

The stranger drew back, dumbfounded. His eyes scanned over Simon, looking for a head injury no doubt. Simon cleared his throat and gestured to the paintings hanging from the tree.

“I mean, I found a painted rock. Thought my kid might’ve done it but I’d never seen it before.” 

The man straightened, finally realizing what Simon was talking about. 

“Oh. Oh! Yeah, that was me. I’m going to be honest I didn’t think anyone lived out here.” 

Simon waded out of the water to the safety of the shore. Mud and water soaked his clothes making the fabric cling to his body. It gave him a gross bogged down feeling, not as put together as he would like to be in front of another person, particularly another man.  

“We usually only come around the summer.”

The man looked a little nervous. Probably expecting Simon to get mad about him trespassing on his property. 

“Listen, I’m sorry. I didn’t-” 

“You’re fine. It was an honest mistake,” Simon cut in before the man could get into that, “Everything is in order. It’s fine.” The pond was still in the same poor state and his cabin was locked and completely unbothered. As far as Simon could see the man hadn’t done anything but colored a rock and painted some fabric he brought with him. 

The man let out an audible breath of relief. 

“I appreciate that.” 

“No problem.” Simon wiped his hand off once more on his pants, not completely succeeding on getting the mud off, and then held it out towards the man. 

“Simon.” Amiable, the man took his hand and shook it. 

“Markus.” Queue a palpable awkward silence as both men didn’t know where to go from there. Simon supposed he should ask Markus to leave but that did seem ridiculous when the man hadn’t done anything. 

Luckily, Markus came to a decision for him. 

“I’ll get out of your hair. Sorry again for trespassing.” He climbed back up to the tree and carefully removed the painted fabric. Delicately, he draped them apart on his forearm, stooping down to pick up a roughened leather bag that Simon could only assume contained his art supplies. 

“Take care, Simon.” Simon shuffled out of his way, silently watching Markus walk down the path to wherever it was he was going. 

“You too, Markus.” 

~

Elise didn’t know if she should be expecting a phone call or not. The few times her or Simon had been separated in their lives they would always share a call in the morning and then a call just before bed. They’d call just to hear each other’s voices, tell each other every mundane thing that happened in their day. Simon had left in the morning and it was well into the night now. It would be strange for Simon not to call, but Elise thought it might be easier on him not to hear her voice. She wasn’t sure what would be easier on her. Part of her dreaded getting a call, dreaded hearing that everything was different now that Simon wouldn’t want her in his life any longer. Dreaded hearing that she was now a painful reminder of the suppression of his true feelings. More than anything she needed to hear his voice again, to get that same phone call to talk about their boring day to be assured that nothing had changed. At the end of the day Simon would be her best friend and remain in her life for years to come. Her life had been planned around their relationship and the children they had together. Now she didn’t know what was going to become of her life or their kids. That feeling had infected her life since Simon’s confession. At first she was too shocked to feel anything. Then when it had sank in she said some things she wasn’t proud of.

“Maybe your bisexual? I mean...We’ve been together for so long and you dated a few girls before me.” 

“No. No I’m not, Elise.” 

She wasn’t sure of anything but Simon was sure of that. 

She kept her cellphone close. When it rang she didn’t immediately answer, instead she stared at his name and contact photo as the tone drew on. 

“Mom. phone!” Riley yelled helpfully from the couch where she was watching a movie (when she should’ve been in bed mind). 

Reminded that she was a grown woman that had nothing to be afraid of she snapped up the phone. 

“Hello?” 

“Oh-” there was the sound of shuffling around the, voice from the other end distant and then closer as if Simon hadn’t been expecting the call, “Hey, hi, Elise. I, uh, made it to the cabin.” 

Elise leaned heavily against the kitchen cabinet and forces a smile into her voice. 

“That’s great, Simon. Was it okay?” 

Simon grunted on the other end of the call. She could hear his footsteps as he continued to move around. 

“Yeah. Everything was okay. Um, I tried to go fishing. Didn’t go well.” 

Elise chuckles, “Yeah I think it’s been a few years.”

“I did find someone out there.” 

“What? You found someone?” That had happened sooner than she expected. 

“Yeah. Some artist, his name was Markus. I guess he was just out there painting the scenery.” 

“Are you sure that was all he was doing?” 

“As far as I can tell. Nothing was out of place.” 

Elise sucked on her tongue and tapped her finger on the counter. “If you say so. Be careful out there.” 

Simon breathes a little too close to the phone making Elise pull back from the noise. 

“I’m sure it’ll be fine. He seemed nice.” Elise could hear the shrug in his voice. Even if she wanted to ask more questions she dropped it.  

“Is that Dad?” Riley skipped up to Elise’s side and held out her hand. Elise pursed her lips and handed the phone over, putting it onto speaker phone for them.

“Dad, how was it?” 

The tension in Simon’s voice bled out at the sound of Riley’s voice. Elise tried not to let that bother her. 

“It’s been okay, sweetie. Long ride over but I survived. Was thinking about fixing up the pond...Is Jacob there?” 

Riley glanced up at her mom with a small frown.

“No. Still at Ryan’s. He said he was coming back tomorrow. He’ll come around, Dad. Maybe.” Really reassuring. 

“Yeah. Hopefully,” Simon sighed. “I think I’m going to call it a night. I’ll call you guys later.” 

“‘Kay. Goodnight.” 

Elise took the phone back a frown set on her mouth now. For a moment she didn’t say anything, just held it to her ear. 

“Elise?” 

“Yeah, Simon. I just...Okay. We’re going to be okay. Right?” 

 

There was a pause on Simon’s end. It wasn’t long, but long enough. 

“Yes. We’re going to be okay, Elise.”


	3. Adah

An hours drive away from the cabin was the small town of Adah. It had a few shops, most of them run out of residents homes or at small booths in a market that was hosted every other week. Mostly they sold fresh produce or homemade trinkets, jewelry made from colorful beads and twisted frayed fabric. When they visited the kids would browse the art while Elise and Simon decided on what healthy food they were going to try today. Simon could hear the kids pestering them for every shiny knickknack they spotted. He decided to take the trip to Adah a bit earlier than originally planned with the excuse of fixing up a few things around the property in his back pocket. 

“Really, son, there wouldn’t be a problem. My boys could use the work! Always playin’ shoot-em-ups.” 

“No, really. I’m okay with doing a bit of work myself,” Simon insisted for the umpteenth time since this conversation started. Really, it had been five different conversations jammed into 15 minutes. Everytime when the little old lady would tell him to have a good day Simon would think he was free but she would start up again. He’d only stopped to browse at her booth and she had thoroughly roped him in in seconds. The homemade canvases had attracted his eye, thinking that it might be something Jacob would like. He’d been on his way out after purchasing gloves and some used tools when he’d spotted them. The conversation started innocent with the woman asking what Simon had planned with all the tools and suddenly he was trapped. Something he had quickly learned about the area was that everyone overshared and never meant a goodbye when they said it.  

“Oh, well, then how about one of these canvases? I saw ya’ eye-ballin’ ‘em.” 

Simon glanced down, uncertain. He knew already he was going to end up leaving with at least one, not entirely able to say no to a mere suggestion. 

“I don’t- They’d be for my son and I’m not sure what he would like.” 

“Do you know if he uses acrylic or oil?” The voice was familiar but for a moment Simon couldn’t place it, until he turned around and saw a blue eye and a yellow eye staring back at him. 

Briefly, he was shocked not expecting to see Markus again after their first meeting. Markus was out of the nature appropriate clothing and with the same worn leather bag hanging from his shoulder.   

“Uh, acrylic I think,” Simon responded after a moment. 

“Well, Meme canvases are perfect for that, aren’t they?” 

The woman, Meme apparently, smiled with pride and gave a firm nod. 

“Sure are!  Linen or cotton?” 

Simon looked to Markus, frankly having no idea what to do with that question. 

Markus chuckled  and answered with no judgement. 

“Linen is the best. More expensive but worth it. Especially if you want permanence.” 

Simon looked back to the stretched canvases with a frown. They came in various sizes and the color of the canvases was slightly different but that was the only disparities he could clearly see. Whatever the differences were he did know his son deserved only the best. 

With Markus’ assistance, Simon purchased an 18x24 portrait style linen canvas, as well as something called gesso that Meme insisted that he needed. As soon as his transaction was complete Markus stepped up to buy a few items, thus saving Simon from another never ending conversation. By some miracle Markus only exchanged a few words with Meme, managing to get away with a wave of his hand and a charming practiced smile. 

Simon could've left with his shopping done but chose to hang around for a moment.

“Thanks for the help,” he said to Markus, “I was a little lost.” Whenever he bought art supplies Jacob was always with him or sent him out with a very detailed list of what he wanted for Christmas or birthdays. It was easier but maybe it would be beneficial for him to learn a thing or two about his son's hobby. 

Markus smiled bright, making Simon's stomach jump. 

“No problem, Simon. Least I could do for you not calling the police on me.” For some reason it pleased him to hear that Markus had not forgotten his name. 

Markus looked around Simon with a raised brow. 

“Are your wife and kids here?”

Just like that Simon's pleasant mood dropped. His eyes snapped down to his hand. In it he held the paper bag with the canvas and on his finger glistened his metallic wedding band. It hadn't even occurred to him to take it off, that it wasn't something he could wear any more. Even if nothing official had been put into place it was a bit off for him to have it on. It would feel just as strange for him to remove it. 

Simon tried to put his expression into neutral territory, not entirely succeeding. 

“Oh no. It's...Just me this time around.” 

Markus clearly saw enough conflict for him to look apologetic. No doubt Simon's response brought up several questions but he didn't ask any of them. What would Simon even answer with if he did? 

‘It took 20 plus years of me being with my wife to realize that I was gay and now she's technically my ex-wife and I have no idea what I'm doing out here and I think my son might not ever talk to me again.’ 

Not likely. 

Before the conversation could become any more uncomfortable Simon changed the subject.

“Are you from Adah?” 

Markus shook his head, that smile returning back to his lips.

“No. I came from Detroit. I've been here for about a week.” 

Simon's eyes widened. If he thought his ride to Adah had taken too long it didn't compare to how long it would take to be coming from Detroit. 

Markus hitched his bag's strap higher on his shoulder, transfering the paper bag he was holding from one hand to the other.

“I’m leaving now though. I saw those woods of your's in a few pieces and thought it would be nice to see it for myself.” 

Whatever art Markus had seen of Simon's property had to be quite old, the cabin and the surrounding area had been owned by his father for as long as he could remember. Suddenly, Markus’ expression became withdrawn, saddened. 

“You could come back if you want,” Simon said without completely thinking it through. 

Markus’ eyes widened. He waved a hand in the air and shook his head. 

“I didn’t mean- It’s alright I don’t want to impose.” 

Simon shrugged. “You wouldn’t be imposing. You didn’t mess with anything while you were there.” He held up the paper sack with the linen canvas. “Plus you helped me pick this out for my son.” He offered a small smile, his eyes looking down towards the ground. 

The dazzling smile of Markus’ returned. 

“Thank you. I’d love that.” He tilted his head towards the exit of the market which they had been steadily heading towards. “I can follow behind in my car. I had trouble finding it the first time.” 

“Yeah it’s easy to miss,” Simon chuckled. That made him realize that he hadn’t seen a vehicle in the area which meant Markus had to have found another way in. Considering the nearly hidden driveway to his cabin was the easiest way to get in it must’ve been quite the feat for Markus to find his way.  

The men seperated, Markus going to his vehicle and Simon to his own. 

Adah was a well taken care of working class community. Everything was very humble with no overt signs of wealth. So the sleek red vehicle that pulled up behind him stuck out like a sore thumb. Simon spotted Markus in his mirror, sitting in the driver’s seat one hand loosely gripping the steering wheel. Simon’s eyes climbed an inch up his forehead. It was the sort of car he’d expect to see at a carshow, driven by old rich men that cared for it more than they did their family. Not the sort of car he expected a pleasant artist to be driving down rough, pothole littered roads. Simon’s mommy van that was older than his son with the “Proud parent of a honour student” stickers displayed loudly on the bumper was far more fitting to the area. Still, the 12 year old boy in him felt a spark of envy and a desire to see how the car drove. 

Simon drove slowly, making sure to keep Markus in sight. The scenery largely looked the same. It was miles of farmland, the one defining landmark being an oil field at the halfway point. The farmland faded into thick trees, seeming to spring up out of nowhere along with high mountains. When they began to near their destination he slowed down to a crawl, more for himself than Markus. The trees gave little in the way of landmarks and the turn always popped up unexpectedly. Simon watched Markus as closely as he could while he made the turn. With a car like that the man likely didn’t have much experience on the rougher terrain. Regardless of that he fared well as they moved further into the growth, eventually coming to a stop when the path became too narrowed for the vehicles to pass through. Simon exited with his bags in hand. He walked up to the driver’s side of Markus’ car waiting for him to get out. From his position he could see the polished interior, offset by the blanket and pillow he could see in the backseat. The frown that threatened to appear was wiped away when Markus pushed open the door. 

Simon stepped back, hoping that he hadn’t looked like he’d been snooping. 

“It’s a bit of a walk from here.”

“I could use a walk,” Markus replied, climbing out of his seat. Simon bit back the odd urge to say that Markus didn’t look like he needed it. 

Markus went to the back of his car and stuck his hand under a sensor, popping the trunk open. He toed his shoes off and replaced them with the brown rubber Wellington boots he had been wearing the previous day. He left his shopping from the day in the car but took up his leather bag. 

The path was beaten down from decades of use but it was not completely cleared. As Simon walked he kicked debris out of the way, sometimes holding a branch back to let Markus pass through without a fight. 

“So, you said that you saw art of this area?” Simon asked after a moment, not wanting the walk to be one long awkward silence. Markus looked straight forward and nodded his head. 

“Yeah. I saw a few pieces from before your cabin was built. The way...the artist portrayed it. So serene and beautiful. I had to see it for myself.” 

Simon hummed and stepped over a stone protruding from the ground. 

“It was more to look at when it was under my father’s care,” Simon admitted. Not too long ago it had been absolutely gorgeous and flourished under his father’s hands. Perhaps he was viewing it from rose tinted glasses but it was a fact that his father had taken more care into the land than Simon ever had. When the property had been passed on to him Simon spent less time there and when he was there he was focused on finding entertainment for his family that didn’t involve backbreaking labor. 

Markus huffed a laugh and shrugged. 

“It has its charm. I can see what caught the artist’s eye.” He casts Simon a look from the corner of his eye, that magnetic smile on his lips. Simon’s heart fluttered and he can’t quite look Markus in the eye after that. 

Approximately 15 minutes later they arrived at the cabin. 

“I need to get a few things together. You know your way from here, right?” Simon asked Markus over his shoulder while he walked up to the door. 

“Yeah, I think I got it from here.” Markus waved and vanished down the pathway leading to the pond. 

The silence of the cabin hit him hard. The photos of Elise, Jacob and Riley held accusatory stares. Simon averted his eyes and set down his bags. He twisted his wedding band around his finger, standing in the room, unmoving for several minutes. 

Simon’s selfish nature was showing once more. He wanted a friend. Wanted to ignore that his life was in complete disarray. What would Markus think of who he was? Was Simon’s own intentions completely pure?

Simon pushed the bile down and pulled himself together. 

Jacob and Riley would like Markus too, Simon knows that. Elise would no doubt scold him when he told her that he had invited Markus back to the property. She always said Simon was too trusting. 

It took far too long for Simon to get to the pond. Long enough that he knew Markus had no doubt noticed but when he finally arrived he said nothing. In fact it seemed like his arrival hadn’t attracted Markus’ attention in the slightest. The other man was in a casual slouch against the trunk of a tree, a sketchbook propped up on his thighs. Simon came up to the tree, looking over his shoulder. On the paper was a sketchy outline of the pond. Markus paused in his drawing, he didn’t look up at Simon but he could tell his presence had finally been noticed. Markus shifted, bringing his shoulder forward so that Simon could no longer see his work. Simon took the hint and gave Markus some distance. 

“Sorry. Don’t like being watched,” Markus coughed.

Simon tilted his chin down towards his chest.  

“It’s okay. Sorry. I’ll just, uh, get to work and leave you be.” 

Back at the cabin Simon had changed into a sturdy pair of work boots and clothes he would have no problem getting dirtied. He had the gloves and the tools he’d bought just today at the market, along with several trash bags. Any major work would require Simon hiring on some more hands but he could at the very least clean up a bit. While Markus continued with his art Simon began picking up debris. He dragged large fallen tree limbs into a pile away from the pond, something he could burn later in a controlled fire. The biggest issue was the overgrown weeds. For the shallow ones he was able to yank them up from the dirt with ease. For ones with deeper roots he loosened the soil around the stem with a handheld hoe and ripped them up with a firm grip. He deposited them into the garbage bag. After about 30 minutes of working he realized that he was being watched. 

Markus was no longer buried in his sketchbook and was watching Simon work. Simon couldn’t quite place the look Markus was giving him. Whatever it was it was wiped away when they made eye contact. 

Markus closed his book and pushed himself up off of the tree. 

“I feel like I should be helping you.” 

Simon was quick to shake his head. 

“Oh no. You don’t have to do that, Mark.” 

Markus grinned and raised a brow. 

“Mark?” 

Simon fiddled with the garbage bag in his hand, his eyes drifting to the right of the other man. 

“Sorry.” 

“No it’s fine. Absolutely fine.” Markus slipped his book into his leather bag and came up to Simon. He put his hand on his hip and gestured to the items in Simon’s hand. “Now, you tell me what I need to do.” Simon made the attempt to protest again but the pointed look Markus gave him stopped him in his tracks. 

“Well, uh,” Simon cleared his throat and picked up another trash bag and handed it over to Markus, “We can finish up with the weeds. Shouldn’t take too long.” 

Except it took far longer than Simon had been anticipating. The amount of weeds was an undertaking and at one point he had to stop to help Markus. The other man worked hard and didn’t ask for help but he also left behind most of the parasitic roots. Once he was shown the proper way to do it he didn’t make the same mistakes and corrected the problem swiftly.  Simon had just the one hoe so they passed it between them when the weeds put up a fight. This made the work go by even slower. By the time they came to a stopping point the sky had darkened. The trees surrounding them blocked much of the light. Simon tied off his garbage bag and slung it over his shoulder. His clothes were thoroughly soiled from the dirt and by grass stains. By the end of it his hands were sore. He could imagine Markus was feeling it even more with the lack of protection from gloves. He was as dirtied up as Simon and had a sheen of sweat on his forehead. It was hard work but he had a satisfied look to his eye. The satisfaction wasn’t as obvious for Simon as he still saw all the work that needed to be done. 

“Sorry, didn’t mean to keep you all day.” Simon wiped the sweat off his forehead and took in a deep breath. 

“It’s no problem, Simon. I couldn’t just sit there and watch you work.” Markus took up his leather bag and got the garbage bag in the other. 

“I appreciate that,” Simon sighed with a soft smile. 

They made the journey back to the cabin and dropped the full bags off on the porch of the cabin. 

It had grown even darker by then. Naturally this was the point the two men would part ways, but the second a goodbye was on his tongue Simon recalled the blanket and pillow he’d seen in the back of Markus’ car. If Markus couldn’t sit and watch Simon work that was something Simon couldn’t allow. 

“Listen. It’s late and you don’t know the area too well. Do you want to stay the night?” 

Markus’ eyes widened. His lips parted, his head tilting and his brow furrowing. Simon sees the protest coming. 

“There’s plenty of room and you helped me a lot today. It wouldn’t put me out to house you for tonight.” Markus blinked and shifted from foot to foot. 

“Okay. I would really appreciate that, Simon,” he replied after a moment. 

When Simon lets Markus into the cabin he keeps his head stiff, urging his eyes not to look anywhere near the photos lining the place. Markus slipped off his shoes by the threshold and joins Simon in the living room. His eyes roam around but he didn’t make a move beyond that. 

“Bathroom is down the hall if you need it, right next to my room. You can take my room,” his and Elise’s room, “Only other place is my kid’s rooms and the couch.” It would undoubtedly be odd for a man who was still practically a stranger to take his kid's room and Simon wasn’t about to let Markus sleep on the couch after all that work. Markus looked like he wanted to protest again but kept it to himself once more.

“Thank you, Simon.” He deposited his bag by the door and disappeared inside of the bathroom. 

The weight of the day and the odd decisions he’d made sag Simon’s shoulders. Without cleaning himself off he dropped into his son’s bed and did his best to settle in for the night. He could hear running water coming from the bathroom. After a few minutes the door opened and Markus’ heavy steps told him he’d gone into the other room. Simon shifted onto his side and curled around his pillow. 

While he drifted off he tried not to think about what had possessed him to invite the charming stranger into his life.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Giving that midwestern experience.
> 
> Before anyone says anything the shopkeepers name isnt meme its Me-Me. Every grandma or grandma like figure I've known had the name Meme


End file.
